Things I Could Buy Out of the Car/Bus/Dala Dala Window...

This is by no stretch of the imagination a complete list. It is the things that I observed and remembered to write down. There were always new things to see every time I went out.

Welcome Mats
Bras
Kites
Jewelry
Cow Boy Hats
Underwear
Coat Racks
Radio/TV Antennas
Jack Fruit
Chickens
Coconut Grinders
Peanuts
Cashews
Shoes
Knives
Spears
Fruits & Vegetables*
Spices
Newspapers
Hangers (Plastic & Wooden)
Pillows
Electrified Bug Zappers
Mirrors
Artwork
Chewing Gum
Biscuits
Samosas
Toothpaste
Puppies
Flashlights
Fabric
Tape Measure
Baskets
Levels
Whole Pineapples
Belts
Candies
Caution Triangles
Jump Ropes
Balls
Purses
CD Cases
Cassette Cleaners
Exercise Springs
Steering Wheel Covers
Soccer Balls
Photo Frames
Socks
Towels Maps
Dictionaries
Car Decals
Seat Covers
Stools
Spoons
Hard Boiled Eggs
Cane Knives
Sugar Cane
Candle Sticks
Plums
A Small Child**

Notes:
* This includes a varieties of veggie and fruits, tomatoes, bell peppers, onions, bags of oranges, bunches of bananas. The fruits or vegetables that are listed separately are of special note.

** The Small child was really the opportunity to take a photo of the child. The Maasai Mammas would hold the babies and pose for a picture if you would give them money.

At Home!

I made it home. It was a long interesting flight. The second half was rather lonley as I flew alone because teh rest of the group headed home to Minnesota or Washington. I slept really well my first night at home. I was so tired. I think i may be able to beat the jetlag. We'll see how today goes. Dad wants to make today a marathon shopping day. YIKES! He wants to go to Wal-Mart and the Mall. I told him we would see how I'm feeling about the whole thing. My first meal home was Mexican food with real sour cream and it was glorious. I didn't get sick either. Thank you Lactaid. Anyway, I still have half of it in the refirgerator. Lunch!

I hope all of you will keep reading for a bit. I plan on making updates and commentary about readjustment. My aim is to keep it focused on my re-entry process. Look for an offshooot blog comming in later months about life in general and the beginning of nurisng school and fundraising for Nkoanrua.

Check the photo page over the next week as I will be uploading lots of pictures now that I have a reliable internet connection that is fast. I forgot how nice it is.

Have a great day!

The First Step

On my trip back to Arusha, I made a point to meet with Steven Ndosi again. We have been communicating via e-mail regarding our joint project proposal. We met to discuss the logistics of getting the Maternal Child Health Clinic running again. The building is in serious disrepair and needs to be torn down. To make it usable again, it needs to be completely renovated from the foundation up. From what I’ve been told, once the structure is repaired, the government will send more staff. The ward only has one government sponsored midwife at this point and she is very overworked and undersupplied because the government will not send anymore staff as well as minimal supplies because they consider the facility inadequate. The ward is responsible for rebuilding the structure if they want the government to send the supplies and staff.

This is something I have been thinking about for a long time...since my first visit to Nkoanrua. This “wild idea” as Steven has taken to calling it has only grown in me as I have been working on my research paper. I am excited to get home and start the actual foot work for this project. Since I’ve been to the site and talked with some of the players, I saw first hand the need for these services. I’ve discovered the passion for making a difference in women’s lives. Doing something for them makes a difference in the quality of life for the entire community.

I am so wary of disappointing these people, but I know that I can do something to make a difference. The things I’ve learned this semester in my classes have provided valuable insight into the cultural basis for healthcare and some of the obstacles to making quality care a reality. My aim is to not be seen as an outside donor but a partner. From what Steven said, the village and ward are prepared to contribute to the building effort with supplies and labor.

It is encouraging to see these people rally together to better themselves. They have already invested in so much. I am eager to see them continue to invest in their advancement for the betterment of them all.

In this little community, the village council plays an important part in decisions that are made about the community. It’s comparable to neighborhood organizations at home though this one is far more connected to the government.

There is much planning and prep work to be done. This meeting was the first step. I now am charged to go home and start the process of building my team and making all of the things Steven and I talked about a reality. Because of this project, I may be back in Tanzania sooner than later.

Almost Home

I find my self looking at the calendar seeing how close I am to boarding a plane. It seems too surreal. I’ve been here as long as I have though it feels like I should have months to go. There has been so much I have absorbed from this environment and other things in me I’ve had to weed out. So much of this trip has been a personal journey, something that can’t be quantified and summed up in less than a thousand words. There are times that I have not even had words for what my heart would feel towards Tanzania and the people here. I can physically see the needs of people and intellectually process some of the factors that contribute to it yet there is so much that I do not understand as an outsider with such a limited cultural perspective. None the less, I am still moved to do something about it. I’m not entirely sure what form that will take or what that means. I do know the measure of Tanzania I take with me home - not just in my suitcase either. Interactions with individuals, families, and communities have left indelible marks on my personal and career aspirations. I’ve had a clear picture for awhile about the types of things I want to see happen in my lifetime within my career and personal involvement. I think I have found the place for that to happen.

Being in an environment where I am frequently faced with situations and conversations that challenge my personal boundaries and beliefs, I have had to do a lot of introspection and evaluation. I have had to choose to change and grow based on the information I have been presented with and what I have seen for my self. This has been a deeply personal journey. Combining what I’ve learned and experienced here coupled with the things that I had to deal with at home and in myself, it is challenging to sum it up in a pretty paragraph or two.

I know going home is not going to be as rosy as I like to imagine it. I will have plenty of things to continue thinking about. With the MCHC project for Nkoanrua, Tanzania will never be far from my thoughts and heart. After meeting with the Director of Nursing at Muhimbili National Hospital, I know I have an internship waiting if I want it and I have friends that I can always visit.

I’ve met amazing people here who have significantly contributed to my learning journey. Other students have challenged my thoughts as I have theirs. There have been many lively discussions over a plate of beans and rice. For some of us we rarely agree. Others we share a few points. Mostly I take a lot of flack for being an American, voting for McCain, and refusing to talk bad about the government. All the way around though my interactions with other international students have been growing ones. I haven’t had as many Tanzanian friendships as I would have liked. With classes starting late, lack of a roommate for such a long time and then early campus closure, I had limited interaction with the women on campus.
I look forward to carrying home my more global perspective that comes not only from living abroad brut also from interacting with other member of the international community in my little Petri dish here.

Counting down!

My time here is almost up. I have two nights and two and a half days left in Tanzania. I am taking my last final exam tomorrow. I have one textile design to finish and then I am officially done. I have one journal entry to write and then I am finally done with LCCT stuff too. The last thing I have to do is my research paper which I got an extension on. I hope to have it done by he end of the year so it doesn't carry over into my J_term classes.

I'm excited to come home. I'll still have plenty to write about though so keep checking back here every few days as I will continue writing about my re-introduction to so many things I have lived without for a while as well as cultural observations I'll be making.

I miss all of you terribly and I can't wait to see you!

The End of Poverty

I recently read The End of Poverty by Jeffrey Sachs. It was an interesting concept to explore while living in a developing country. Many of the principles described in the book were field tested in Kenya. A few of them were also tested here. The most fascinating part was the small amount of money that was invested in communities to improve their standard of living and make them self-sufficient.

Reading these studies through, I can not help but think about how some of these principles could be applied to truly end poverty. It is a matter of money and will on the part of the communities. Money is the big key. It would take huge levels of international cooperation to make it happen but it is possible. One person could theoretically fund a village agriculture subsistence revolution with the money he or she could leave as an interchange to the project – I’m talking about $30,000 USD. It seems like a lot of money but in the grand scheme of things it isn’t. There are so many practical ways to make a real impact in the lives of communities to help bring them out of poverty and into something more than mere subsistence.

It seems that poverty is a reoccurring theme in this journal entry set. It is a major theme in everyday life here. It affects everything.

I might be crazy to dream that someday things will be different. I believe that they can be. Being in a mixed group of international students, there are a variety of opinions of development and aid interventions and what is ok and what too much interference with local culture is. There have been many lively discussions revolving around this topic. There seems to be as many opinions as there are people. For something to be done there must be some cross borders conversations and much cooperation, concession and evaluation of what is really needed not what is the easiest to do.

I think there is a solution to the end of poverty. I may not see it happen in my lifetime, but I believe that my peers and I will be the catalyst to see a change in generations to come. It will not be an effort led by governments and organizations but one that starts with people, individuals who want to see a change for the better in the human condition. It may be one community at a time and not one country at a time but it will be effective.

Controversial Statement?

“I couldn’t live here and be white.”

That was a statement made by someone a few days ago during a conversation between her and me. I’m not sure how I feel about that statement. In her interactions she has aimed to avoid everything that is associated with the mzungu community. She openly expresses disdain anytime any of us do things that do that she disapproves of and thinks isn’t “Tanzanian” enough. It’s been an interesting situation at times.

It has been interesting to watch the group and other international students navigate the social system here and their perceived role as mzungu. Responses have been across the board. It is a fascinating situation to observe. People have responded in so many of different ways. There have been responses of frustration, anger and acceptance. Generally, as the semester has gone on people have become more positive.

I am somewhere in the middle. I think I have struck some peace with the fact that I am undeniably mzungu in Tanzania. I know that I will never be Tanzanian. My skin color will always make me stick out. There is absolutely no getting around that. I have decided that I can minimize the amount of attention I draw to myself. I have to pick what I say, do and where I go. I cannot negate the fact that some people will always treat me differently because of my ethnicity.

Back to the original statement....it left me puzzled for several reasons. First, I’m not sure exactly if that statement comes with conditions and secondly, what has the last few months been...a vacation? The whole thing is a bit too strange for me. I struggled with her viewpoint because it seemed as if she despised the fact that she wasn’t Tanzanian. It is something we know coming here is that we will be a minority in most situations. Intellectually knowing it is far different than understanding what it feels like and anticipating how you will react.

This is one of those things that can be hard to comment on earlier because at least I’ve felt like I need ore time to gain an understanding and a perspective. There is such a history with the way mzungu are treated. Some of it is a spillover from colonialism and the missionary era. Other bits are from the interactions with tourists. There are the things like kids shouting “Give me money” as you walk past or taxi drivers yelling out the window that they have a mzungu in the car so other cars should move. It can be embarrassing and annoying. I cannot change the behavior though. It is something that is bigger than me and my short stay here.

Fairer Than Me

In virtually every paper I pick up there is a story about the situation of albinos in Tanzania. Apparently the level of violence against them has escalated in the last year or so. Due to traditional beliefs, there are many albinos that have been killed or disfigured for their body parts. There is the belief that certain body parts bring fortune to the bearer as well as take part in ceremonies for healing. There was recently a march by the albino society in Dar to lobby for tighter protection for them from law enforcement agencies. The situation in the city is a bit different than rural areas. I think there is less fear among them as there is more of a group that can lobby for their protection versus isolated communities where there are usually far smaller numbers.

There is a disproportionately high number of albinos in Tanzania. Considering the average composition of skin tone in East Africa, it is easy to understand why the albinos stick out. From the conversations I’ve had with others here, part of the situation is that albinos marry other albinos. Since it is a genetic condition, when they have children, it is passed on increasing numbers. The condition is currently classified as a disability by the Tanzanian government allowing them additional protection and benefits.

There are a number of albinos present on campus, as to be expected. I happen to be fair enough upon arrival and even now to more than once hear, “Mambo, Albino!” in my direction. After I looked around I realized that I was the person the comment was directed at not someone behind me. I told a few of my friends about the incident and some of them laughed and others were concerned. I chalk the whole thing up to a case of mistaken identity.

With the situation and the violence against the minority albinos, it is a case of discrimination and misunderstanding. There is a simple case of genetics not a form of bewitchment or curse. That simple explanation makes the condition something that is manageable and preventable in a sense. Tanzania has a long way to go to curb the social suspicion and causes of violence against albinos.

I don’t know the best comparison to this kind of discrimination from my own culture though I’m sure cases exist. Obviously we’ve had racial discrimination but I don’t think such a widespread problem with discrimination based on a medical condition. I can say that there has been much legislation enacted to protect people with all kinds of disabilities.

The US has a decent system in place to help people with all kids of disabilities whether through financial support or occupational therapy and job modification to allow them to work. In Tanzania there is very little of this support in place. There are a few NGOs that work with physically handicapped people to give them marketable job skills.

To see a change in the way albinos are treated along with others who are considered disabled, it will take a socio-cultural change. These people are seen as something that is not to be valued and that they have no contribution to make because they are different. To instigate these changes, it is something that will take time and tolerance education. There is a need to lead people to an understanding that disabilities and differences are not always deficits.

Market Habits & Food

Most people go food shopping everyday. Vegetables do not stay fresh for days on end without insect infestation. If a family wants meat for meal, it has to be purchased that day. Most families do not have the ability to preserve meat via refrigeration. It is a fairly new concept among families who can afford it.

Shopping is not only a necessary activity but also a social interaction. Virtually every transaction in the traditional market system requires that you talk with and to the vendor that you are purchasing from. Most people exhibit some vendor loyalty so that a relationship is formed with the vendor. Also, there are others out shopping in the market so interactions with friends and neighbors occur there.

Another contributing factor to the market seems to be that people generally work on a day by day basis. If a person only makes enough money to live day-to-day, then it makes sense that they cannot stockpile food. Once a person makes his/her wages for the day then it is possible to buy dinner and breakfast for the next morning.

It seems that income affects more than where you live and what you eat. It also affects how you eat. The rhythm of working, shopping, cooking and eating are all interconnected. Work leads to money that allows a person to shop for groceries then cook and eat them. Without working on any given day, some families are left without food to eat that night. Even if they do not go completely hungry, the amount of food available is significantly reduced.

Cooking is another part in this cycle. It is a time consuming process that is absolutely necessary. Eating out is expensive and for most families the cost of eating out one meal can feed them for several days. It in theory could be one person’s job to cook for a family. It could be an all day task.

The socioeconomic status I come from allows my family and me the luxury of shopping for a weeks worth of food at one time. We can buy meat and vegetables as well as other goods and preserve them for almost time indefinite. The concept of only having enough money for one meal at a time is something that I cannot even begin to conceptualize. I know that eating out at home and in Tanzania is expensive but I can still afford to eat out and still have money for meals the next day.

Food and cooking is a life necessity. The entire system here has challenged my concepts about the way I cook and eat and the way other people do those activities. It is a cornerstone to culture since eating is a necessary life sustaining activity. Food from region to region varies obviously as what is available in the region due to agricultural and climate conditions dictate. Regardless, people eat...when they have money. It may not be convenient or cheap but food is available. Tanzania doesn’t have food shortage from what I can see. The shortage is the funds for people to purchase food.

Children & Their ”Work”

I see children working everywhere. Not just housework either. I see them selling peanuts on street corners and peddling newspapers to passersby. They sell candy of the ferry and shine shoes at the dala dala stand. These children are everywhere. Because I see then during school hours, I am left to assume that they are not attending school. They have been sent out by their families to earn a living or contribute to family household care. In rural areas, it is common to see children, young children, herding animals for the family, sometimes several kilometers from their house. I was astounded more than once to see a boy as young as five out herding goats all day. Frequently children are exposed to dangerous situations and subsistence through the work they perform

These families are dependant on the labor these small ones do whether it is the actual task they perform or the money they make. Poverty takes children out of school and away from an education that can defeat the cycle of poverty for them. It seems to be an unending cycle because if these children do not finish standard seven they are not eligible for vocational training programs or even a driver’s license. They stay in the cycle of poverty subsistence farming or running small businesses that provide meager income. They may make enough to feed themselves but not enough to improve their living condition or send their children to school. It is a perpetuating cycle. Intervention of some sort is needed. Who is to say what will be the best if anything will be effective.

There is an issue of child rights that comes into play in each of their work environments. Children are being put in dangerous and harmful situations. Their work environment is not only the things that are harmful; when children are out of the supervision of people who are responsible for them, they are more likely to be exploited by people who would take advantage of them. This leads to further harms and increases the likelihood of violence against them.

Child labor laws have been passed but enforcing them is a challenge...like many other laws here. There is not the value placed on an official childhood here. At home, many steps are taken to preserve then sanctity of childhood. Adults spend much of their time and energy to give children a childhood experience. Everything from toys to Little League is geared to extending and preserving childhood. There are still holes in the system, and children still can be exploited, but there is more of a safety net in place and far harsher punishments for those who would harm children.

Seeing more child protection in Tanzania is a matter of a perspective shift. Understanding why the current system is the way it is takes a cultural understanding that I can’t confirm that I have at this point. I’m not sure why children are put in dangerous labor situations and denied an education. My best guess is that it is all due to poverty. It seems to be the root cause and contributing factor to many of these situations where children are set-up to be in the poverty cycle for the rest of their lives. There are the few cases that break out of the mold but it seems to take an extraordinary outside factor to make it happen.

Medical Personnel & My Preferences: Social Constructs

This is from awhile ago. After two doctors visits and multiple tests, it was concluded that I had a mild malaria infection. Nothing super serious but I had mild symptoms. I'll get tested again when I get home to be safe.

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I’ve been feeling kind of crappy for a few days. When I look at the timeline of my last run-in with a herd of mosquitoes along with the day I missed my anti-malarial dose, there is a chance I could be malarial. ICK! I’d rather catch it early than wait until my fever is ridiculous and I’m vomiting uncontrollably. I headed to the school health center. I briefly saw the doctor and he sent me for a malaria test. I had the little finger prick. It wasn’t a needle; it was a razor blade thing. The lab tech gashed my finger and smeared my blood on a slide. It was the most painful thing I have felt in a long time. After I nearly passed out, the results were in. I had a parasite count of 2. Not bad but officially malaria positive. I became a bit skeptical about the results when I saw how many other tests they did and the fact that my slide wasn’t marked. I wasn’t confident that the results hadn’t been mixed up. I was feeling bad, but I could explain it with other things. I decided to go to the IST Clinic to get retested.

On the way there, I found an interesting and slightly disturbing thought running through my brain. I want to go somewhere that I know I will be seen and asked questions about my care. I want to see a real doctor.” Having had several encounters with the student health center and a private Tanzanian-run hospital here, there is a lot I’ve taken for granted at home. I anticipate that I will be asked pertinent questions like, “What are your symptoms?,” “How long has this been going on?”, etc. Or after I have explained what is going on the practitioner asks follow-up questions to make sure that he/she has an accurate picture of what I described.

I’m at the place where my feeling awful has me looking for an answer and I’m finding myself wanting the system I know and one I feel will fix me. With this thought, every sociology lecture I’ve sat through this semester came rushing to my mind. My version of health care is my social construct where I have my expectations of what the practitioner should do and the things that I should do or say to help him/her treat me appropriately. Those same roles are no where near the same here. (Having written about this before, the important distinction that I think I need to make here is that this time around, I am seeing the situation from a broader social perspective not a comparison contrast of what I know.) The role of biomedicine is relatively new in Tanzania from a historical perspective. People are slowly coming into the system. The rural areas have made a slower leap towards modern medicine. Medical pluralism is still very common in the city as well as the rural communities. More people than will admit still see traditional healers for treatment. There are several seemingly vibrant practices not far from campus. The idea of an informed patient is not something that is embraced. The thought is that the doctors and nurses are the smart ones. It is the patient’s role to listen and do only what they are told. There is very little expectation for anything for much else than the doctor spending less than five minutes with you and sending you home with a large packet of pills. The expectations of lab tests and physical exams for anything else than obvious wounds are minimal at best. My brain has been programmed by years of treatment in the American system that when I go in with various systems, I will usually have some lab tests performed and a physical examination. The doctor is to play the role of detective not dictator of disease. It was and still is a challenge for me to see this system as well as be a patient it in without applying my cultural biases and expectations. This is further compounded by the amount of knowledge I have regarding the American medical system because of my major and personal interest.

10 Days!

Hey All!
Just a little update...more journal entries to come soon!

I'll be home in little over a week....well back in Texas that is. It's crazy to think that this is almost over. I'm headed to Arusha in the morning. I'm meeting with some people about a development project ad delivering livestock. It should be exciting. Hopefully the rain has stopped and we can get to where we need to. Otherwise it is a 2 and a half hour hike in to the place and I'll be hering 5+ goats and a cow in the mud that might just pass my knees! It should be an adventure. When it's safe, I'll pull out the camera. :)

Take care until I see you all!