As part of my own language learning, I have been investigating the color words in Swahili. I couldn’t find some of them in the dictionary. I questioned my tutor about this and it let to a rather interesting conversation. After she defined the some terms that I wanted and were easy to name; then, we came to colors like pink, purple, orange, brown, and maroon. I discovered that Swahili traditionally doesn’t have words for these colors and several others. They are borrowed from other languages – English, Arabic, and German – mainly. She said that orange is frequently referred to as “color of the fruit (oranges)”; it is translated basically in that phrase. Pink is pinki, brown is the color of coffee, and my favorite amusing term, maroon, is damu na mzee, literally the blood of old people. The color universals that I discussed in anthropology last semester are true here. There are definite words for red, black, and white. The rest of the color words vary within Swahili and the tribal languages, if they exist at all.
Having done graphic design at home, I’ve learned to distinguish the slightest differences in colors. To my eye, there is a difference between aqua and pool as well as tangerine and orange zest. Looking at fabrics in the market, I take those color terms with me. I see khaki and mocha kitenges with turquoise and lime accents. If you asked the shop keeper to name those colors you would hear, brown, blue and green. My eye can see those differences and I know physiologically an eye is an eye unless it’s been damaged. Does knowledge of color activate more rods and cones in the eye or is it awareness to those subtle differences?
The story my tutor shared with us to illustrate the lack of color words is quite humorous and it goes a something like this: “My sister got married last year. It was my responsibility to buy all of the flowers and the decorations. She told me her wedding colors were pink and white and that the bridesmaids dresses were pink, so I bought pink everything. Since she lives far away, she didn’t see anything until I came a few days before the wedding with the things I had purchased. I bought pink like the kind on roses or baby blankets. The dresses were maroon. We used what we had, though when I think about it until a few years ago I would have called maroon pink as well because I hadn’t learned a word for that color.”
This leads me to the thought that many of the words I use to describe colors are a product of wealth. Why else would I need to know the difference in the names between three different shades of blue unless I had time to think about it or use those terms in home decorating or design?
I’d love to take a rural Tanzanian into Home Depot to look at all of the paint chips and samples. I’d have to ask what colors he/she saw. Then, upon this individual’s return home, if he/she started seeing colors differently since new color words were added to the vocabulary and an opportunity was given to see distinctions labeled in color difference.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Coming Soon!
Hey All! I know I've been promising blogs about my trip north to Kilimanjaro. I'm really far behind. Internet here has been touch and go. With the addition of students on campus the wait for the Internet cafe is ever increasing. I'm going to get there soon. Until then, check out the photo link and leave me comments on older entries or send me e-mails. I miss you all See you soon! ~ Shanea'
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Campus Cleanliness & Society’s Rubbish
For this being a “developing nation” I’m really impressed by how clean the university campus is. Virtually every morning, I come downstairs to a crew doing yard work around my building. The rest of the campus is the same way. There are always crews of men and women cutting grass, raking leaves, or sweeping sidewalks everywhere I go on campus. There is also a group of people who almost continually monitor the restroom in the middle of campus. That could be true because the water goes out so frequently and the hand flush buckets have to be filled somehow. From what I’ve seen and imagined I thought that I would have to endure heaps of rubbish and clogged gutters. It’s been a pleasant surprise to not have to see those things. The surrounding city areas aren’t as clean, yet part of me was expecting something far worse.
Leaving campus things are a little different. Based on where you are, you could see gutters full of rubbish and large pools of standing water or well maintained streets. It is all based on what part of town you are in. The more touristy parts of town or the better neighborhoods are more likely to be better maintained...not much different from home.
I don’t think that I will ever grow accustomed to throwing fruit rubbish on the ground or the amount of littering I see other people do. Off of campus a little piece of me wants to walk around with one of those “picker-upper” things and just pick up the trash. The problem comes down to where does it go once it’s in the bin. The city has a bit of a waste removal system. Many residents burn their garbage…what little they make that isn’t compost able or reusable. People here are so thrifty. I see many things being reused. Plastic bags from bread get rinsed and dried to be used to get meat from the butcher. Blue Band margarine containers become parts for children’s toys. Soles are cut off of shoes to make stoppers for sinks and tubs. It is truly unconventional recycling.
Leaving campus things are a little different. Based on where you are, you could see gutters full of rubbish and large pools of standing water or well maintained streets. It is all based on what part of town you are in. The more touristy parts of town or the better neighborhoods are more likely to be better maintained...not much different from home.
I don’t think that I will ever grow accustomed to throwing fruit rubbish on the ground or the amount of littering I see other people do. Off of campus a little piece of me wants to walk around with one of those “picker-upper” things and just pick up the trash. The problem comes down to where does it go once it’s in the bin. The city has a bit of a waste removal system. Many residents burn their garbage…what little they make that isn’t compost able or reusable. People here are so thrifty. I see many things being reused. Plastic bags from bread get rinsed and dried to be used to get meat from the butcher. Blue Band margarine containers become parts for children’s toys. Soles are cut off of shoes to make stoppers for sinks and tubs. It is truly unconventional recycling.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Campus Safety Vs. Auxilliary Police
At PLU, we have a fantastic campus safety department. They handle building lock ups and monitor parking lots. They also do write ups for alcohol on campus and noise violations. At UDSM, we also have campus safety, but it's a little different. The local security/militia trains one or two days a week - complete with long runs and chants. It looks like a military work out. Then there are the guns. In addition to the physical training they receive, they also get arms training. When they are doing their training near the soccer field, it is easy to see the wooden rifles stacked not too far away. It is quite normal to see a man in full military dress on my way to class, armed to the teeth with an automatic rifle sitting outside of the mail drop across from the bank that is by the cafeteria. They are all over campus. I think my favorite is the lady who sits outside of our building. She looks likes your grandma, but I'd never cross her since the man sitting next to her has a sawed off shotgun. Yes, I'm safe. :)
It’s an entirely different perspective on keeping students safe. It seems like more of their security is a display as part of prevention than dealing with actual incidents. The other observation is the only residence hall I’ve seen security in front of is our hall. I’m curious to see if that changes once school starts and more halls have students living in them or if the security is here because this is the hall where international students live and thieves assume that we all have rooms full of valuables? Over all I feel safer during the day when I can see around me. Nights are a little sketchy since the campus is open and it is so large. I’ve met my fair share of interesting individuals with mental health issues on campus. They just seem to wander around all day. Luckily, I’ve only met them in the day light.
It’s an entirely different perspective on keeping students safe. It seems like more of their security is a display as part of prevention than dealing with actual incidents. The other observation is the only residence hall I’ve seen security in front of is our hall. I’m curious to see if that changes once school starts and more halls have students living in them or if the security is here because this is the hall where international students live and thieves assume that we all have rooms full of valuables? Over all I feel safer during the day when I can see around me. Nights are a little sketchy since the campus is open and it is so large. I’ve met my fair share of interesting individuals with mental health issues on campus. They just seem to wander around all day. Luckily, I’ve only met them in the day light.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
The Darfur Problem Lecture: My Response as an American & a Global Citizen
Just as a beginning note, this has the potential to be controversial....
Sitting in this lecture, I had an interesting perspective. I think a long time ago I overcame the view that American does no wrong. Listening to how the American government’s unfounded reports were the cause of so much of the Darfur hysteria in the US wasn’t shocking as a fact that it happened. It did frustrate me that supposedly educated people, the Senate, would vote on an issue and label a conflict with a word as serious as genocide before they had many, if any, facts. Only after the senate voted on this issue, was a study commissioned. Then that study was basically called hogwash by the audit office. How much different could the international response had been if the information in the WHO report was more publicized than the term genocide.(The WHO listed the causes of the majority of the casualties as lack of public health facilities and systems – sanitation and clean water namely.) There could have been a more humanitarian response that addressed the issued of the mass of people. Those issues are still a problem today and are still taking lives. Yes there was a civil conflict and probably some indirect death due to the conflict, though I still see evidence that there was a better way to handle it.
I left not offended or frustrated as others did. I wish some of that information could be repeated to my peers at home in a way that would click for them. I want to see not a continued fundraising response for advocacy groups or a call for government and military involvement. I want to see these areas and nations who are closer to the conflict empowered to do something practical about it. Practicality is not only a shipment of weapons and barbed wire, but also shovels and pipes to put in latrines and a well.
I felt a little foolish after this lecture because I have given financial support to the Save Darfur Coalition. If I had known then what I know now, they wouldn’t have gotten my money. I’ve checked out some of the sources the speaker cited and I see that he interpreted them accurately. The entire Darfur issue gives people a chance to do something that makes them feel good because they don’t see themselves as having a direct responsibility to those people for causing their situation unlike the conflict in Iraq. I probably take a different stance on the Iraq War than the presenter did. People are more hesitant to give to causes that directly benefit the Iraqi citizens because in a round about way, I think they are seen as a threat and by giving to them, we have to acknowledge our role in their current situation. This is something that is far too complicated to continue writing about as I have strong opinions all of the way around for numerous reasons.
Sitting in this lecture, I had an interesting perspective. I think a long time ago I overcame the view that American does no wrong. Listening to how the American government’s unfounded reports were the cause of so much of the Darfur hysteria in the US wasn’t shocking as a fact that it happened. It did frustrate me that supposedly educated people, the Senate, would vote on an issue and label a conflict with a word as serious as genocide before they had many, if any, facts. Only after the senate voted on this issue, was a study commissioned. Then that study was basically called hogwash by the audit office. How much different could the international response had been if the information in the WHO report was more publicized than the term genocide.(The WHO listed the causes of the majority of the casualties as lack of public health facilities and systems – sanitation and clean water namely.) There could have been a more humanitarian response that addressed the issued of the mass of people. Those issues are still a problem today and are still taking lives. Yes there was a civil conflict and probably some indirect death due to the conflict, though I still see evidence that there was a better way to handle it.
I left not offended or frustrated as others did. I wish some of that information could be repeated to my peers at home in a way that would click for them. I want to see not a continued fundraising response for advocacy groups or a call for government and military involvement. I want to see these areas and nations who are closer to the conflict empowered to do something practical about it. Practicality is not only a shipment of weapons and barbed wire, but also shovels and pipes to put in latrines and a well.
I felt a little foolish after this lecture because I have given financial support to the Save Darfur Coalition. If I had known then what I know now, they wouldn’t have gotten my money. I’ve checked out some of the sources the speaker cited and I see that he interpreted them accurately. The entire Darfur issue gives people a chance to do something that makes them feel good because they don’t see themselves as having a direct responsibility to those people for causing their situation unlike the conflict in Iraq. I probably take a different stance on the Iraq War than the presenter did. People are more hesitant to give to causes that directly benefit the Iraqi citizens because in a round about way, I think they are seen as a threat and by giving to them, we have to acknowledge our role in their current situation. This is something that is far too complicated to continue writing about as I have strong opinions all of the way around for numerous reasons.
Monday, September 15, 2008
That Song Found Me Here!
Our handbook suggested that we not bring mp3 players because “we are in Tanzania to be in Tanzania.” Translated and put in context it was referring to the fact that we should be tuned into our environment, not to mention the fact that having a piece of gear like that marks us as a tourist, a target for robbery, and puts a visual wealth barrier between us and those around us. There have been numerous times on this trip that if I had closed my eyes, what I heard was no different than that at home. Driving through the market district in Arusha, I could hear “Drive Me Crazy” by Britney Spears or in the dala dala “Love in This Club” by Chris Brown was being blasted. It is such a contrast to what I expected. I was hoping to hear some lovely Tanzanian tunes. Occasionally they float by my ears, yet from the time I wake up until I go to bed, at any given time I can hear, “No Air,” “Umbrella,” or some other catchy Top 40 tune of the Rap/R&B variety being played.
I think what was the strangest and disconcerting was my ride on the Dar Express. I was contentedly watching the countryside roll by and then I heard it…”I Kissed A Girl” by Katy Perry. I distinctly remember thinking as the song came on the radio on the way to the airport, “I’m so glad I’m not going to have to hear that song for months!” It found me in Tanzania and interrupted my nice thoughts!
On a deeper note, I’ve had to think about the impact this style of music brings with it. Tanzania, Dar Es Salaam especially, carries an evident Western influence. I have to wonder what effect this rush of media is having on mainstream or more traditional Tanzanian culture. I’ve seen the influx of media even in my few short years in American culture – the progression of musical lyrics, the slow slide down in visual content and ads popping up everywhere for everything. . I wonder if things will follow the same path here? It’s been said that input equals output. If Tanzanian youth are being exposed to more outside influences than ever, will their lifestyle quickly follow suit or is the culture here strong enough to withstand the Western media influence? I hear the difference in Tanzanian hip hop and what is being “imported.” The lyrics communicate a different message and the videos are far different. The Tanzanian style reflects more wholesome values. I’m sure that there are exceptions, but I have seen very few.
I hear and see Western media and its influence, specifically music in this case, in so many places. I think one of the most memorable was in Eluwai. We are in the middle of the boma and one of the men had a radio turned on and I caught a few notes of a catchy pop tune I know. It was more than out of place. It was alien in the setting. I’m sure to them it isn’t a big thing, but it was a complete jaw dropper for me.
I think what was the strangest and disconcerting was my ride on the Dar Express. I was contentedly watching the countryside roll by and then I heard it…”I Kissed A Girl” by Katy Perry. I distinctly remember thinking as the song came on the radio on the way to the airport, “I’m so glad I’m not going to have to hear that song for months!” It found me in Tanzania and interrupted my nice thoughts!
On a deeper note, I’ve had to think about the impact this style of music brings with it. Tanzania, Dar Es Salaam especially, carries an evident Western influence. I have to wonder what effect this rush of media is having on mainstream or more traditional Tanzanian culture. I’ve seen the influx of media even in my few short years in American culture – the progression of musical lyrics, the slow slide down in visual content and ads popping up everywhere for everything. . I wonder if things will follow the same path here? It’s been said that input equals output. If Tanzanian youth are being exposed to more outside influences than ever, will their lifestyle quickly follow suit or is the culture here strong enough to withstand the Western media influence? I hear the difference in Tanzanian hip hop and what is being “imported.” The lyrics communicate a different message and the videos are far different. The Tanzanian style reflects more wholesome values. I’m sure that there are exceptions, but I have seen very few.
I hear and see Western media and its influence, specifically music in this case, in so many places. I think one of the most memorable was in Eluwai. We are in the middle of the boma and one of the men had a radio turned on and I caught a few notes of a catchy pop tune I know. It was more than out of place. It was alien in the setting. I’m sure to them it isn’t a big thing, but it was a complete jaw dropper for me.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Sniff, Sniff
Having a computer the last few days has been therapy to my soul. Not for the contact with home, but for the opportunity to play music I know. My mp3 player stopped working correctly on the way here. I discovered though that I could still load the files onto a computer. I’ve been able to listen to my favorite songs. All of the tunes I brought for this trip are ones that evoke memories of some kind. I knew that at some point I would the songs that have gotten me through the last year or so. It not just the music either, but also the movement I’ve been able to put with it. I didn’t realize how much I miss the sounds of home. I miss those little things…sounds that are familiar, being able to listen to the news in a language you understand, understanding the conversation that goes on around you, and almost the most important – smells. I miss the smells of home. Certain smells are more powerful than any words. Smelling Jeremy’s cologne or my favorite perfume, neither of which I brought with me, is more comforting that almost anything. I’d almost give a finger to be able to smell those things. It is such a comfort to be able to recognize something that is yours. It’s like snuggling into your favorite duvet and taking a deep breath. It smells like you, your home, your favorite meals, and your laundry soap. I love some of the smells of Tanzania, but I haven’t found anything yet that compares to the smells of home.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Alphabet Revision
Just a little funny from the field.
While chatting with a lady who does field research, she mentioned this conference she went to on FGM (Female Genital Mutilation) and HIV in Kenya a few years ago. She took her daughter, who at the time was about three. Thinking that she was too young to remember any of it, she was shocked to come home and here her little girl singing the alphabet with a revision.
“A, B, C, D, E, F, G, M, H, I, V, J, K L,….”
I laughed my socks off.
If you don’t get it, sing the above pattern aloud and re-read the first sentence…Now you’re laughing! :)
While chatting with a lady who does field research, she mentioned this conference she went to on FGM (Female Genital Mutilation) and HIV in Kenya a few years ago. She took her daughter, who at the time was about three. Thinking that she was too young to remember any of it, she was shocked to come home and here her little girl singing the alphabet with a revision.
“A, B, C, D, E, F, G, M, H, I, V, J, K L,….”
I laughed my socks off.
If you don’t get it, sing the above pattern aloud and re-read the first sentence…Now you’re laughing! :)
Monday, September 8, 2008
Today I Have A Desire...
I know that this will never happen as long as I am in Tanzania, yet I feel the need to dream. I would like to go from my dorm to my destination without being hassled by semi-flirtatious men or good natured citizens who keep trying to teach me Swahili. It’s not that I don’t know a lot of words; I just don’t feel like having a long pointless from my perspective conversation. This culture is completely relationship oriented and it can be very tiring. I miss being able to go from point A to B and not having to talk to a single unknown soul. It feels so pointless from my Western perspective. For Tanznaians, all of this builds relationship and you many need something from that individual so it pays to be kind to them and this is in general a very friendly culture. I just want space to breathe and be without fearing that I am being rude. I feel the obligation to always talk and be open because if not I feel like the rude American. In reality, if I don’t hear a greeting or quickly pass someone on the walkway, I am probably deep in thought as my brain has been occupied since I’ve been here. This is probably my most negative journal entry yet, but it is how I feel today. It is part of my learning. I will not change a culture and I don’t realistically expect them to change for me. My options are to accept it and be bubbly, ignore people and fulfill the stereotype, or get over the thought that I might offend someone and try my best within reason.
I think the whole thing would be easier if I knew more people around me. I know so few Tanzanian students. All of the ones that I’ve met so far end up asking for my phone number or for me to “visit” them. This male dominated campus wears on my brain and nerves. After seeing some of the trouble the other girls have had, I’ve decided to be very leery of all of the men here. I’d rather avoid the situation than have to make up a story or deal with someone who is persistent. It’s not well understood that we did not come to Tanzania to get married. I understand that I am somewhat of an anomaly here. I’m 24 and single with no children. It’s not as bad around the university as it is in the outlying areas. The women wonder why I don’t have children and a house at home. I’m beyond the age of marriage. I should have babies or so I’ve been told. In the end, I’ve almost reached the conclusion to exclusively befriend women on campus with the exception of a few international students for various reasons.
I really could just lock myself in the library today and be content…if I could find what I am looking for. Hopefully my search for information will not be in vain.
I think the whole thing would be easier if I knew more people around me. I know so few Tanzanian students. All of the ones that I’ve met so far end up asking for my phone number or for me to “visit” them. This male dominated campus wears on my brain and nerves. After seeing some of the trouble the other girls have had, I’ve decided to be very leery of all of the men here. I’d rather avoid the situation than have to make up a story or deal with someone who is persistent. It’s not well understood that we did not come to Tanzania to get married. I understand that I am somewhat of an anomaly here. I’m 24 and single with no children. It’s not as bad around the university as it is in the outlying areas. The women wonder why I don’t have children and a house at home. I’m beyond the age of marriage. I should have babies or so I’ve been told. In the end, I’ve almost reached the conclusion to exclusively befriend women on campus with the exception of a few international students for various reasons.
I really could just lock myself in the library today and be content…if I could find what I am looking for. Hopefully my search for information will not be in vain.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Meeting Other International Students
As more international students have been arriving on campus, it’s been interesting to meet them. Some jump right in and start trying things. Others have the look of shock for days and are petrified of everything. I think it would be interesting, if not also embarrassing, to be able to see myself when I first came. I’ve been here over a month now and I’m feeling a lot more at ease. I can navigate parts of the area by myself. I feel fairly comfortable around campus. The only thing that can unnerve me and probably always will is the persistent man asking for my phone number or asking me, “his friend,” to come visit. I don’t trust their intentions one bit nor am I interested in anything of the sort. The open markets bother me less. I’m still not a fan of long bargaining conversations. I feel like such a cheapskate when I try to get the price too low. I’ll bargain a bit, but I’m not as determined as other people in my group.
As one who has been here bit, I feel like an unofficial ambassador to incoming international students. When they look lost, I feel the need to ask if I can help them find something or explain the cafeteria menu because it is all in Swahili. I’ve met several students so far that were told to meet at the LINKS office, yet they have no idea where that is, let alone where they are in relationship to anything else of campus.
I think I had the look of shock and probably exhaustion when I arrived in country. I’d almost like to do it all over again to see it with fresh eyes. I can say that I am very happy our program has an orientation like it does. From speaking with other students from different programs, they didn’t get hardly anything as to a country orientation. Even if we only had done the pre-departure reading, we were way ahead of the curve once we arrived. I don’t think I could do what some of these people do. They come alone. The LINKS office drops them off at the dorm and then they are on their own. How overwhelming! I can say we, LCCT, have it good.
As one who has been here bit, I feel like an unofficial ambassador to incoming international students. When they look lost, I feel the need to ask if I can help them find something or explain the cafeteria menu because it is all in Swahili. I’ve met several students so far that were told to meet at the LINKS office, yet they have no idea where that is, let alone where they are in relationship to anything else of campus.
I think I had the look of shock and probably exhaustion when I arrived in country. I’d almost like to do it all over again to see it with fresh eyes. I can say that I am very happy our program has an orientation like it does. From speaking with other students from different programs, they didn’t get hardly anything as to a country orientation. Even if we only had done the pre-departure reading, we were way ahead of the curve once we arrived. I don’t think I could do what some of these people do. They come alone. The LINKS office drops them off at the dorm and then they are on their own. How overwhelming! I can say we, LCCT, have it good.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
What I've been pondering.
This is from a few days ago. By now we all know that Tanzanian electricity and Internet aren't the most predictable things.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
09.01.2008 7:45 pm
I feel more than ever that I am headed down the right track with what I am doing and where I am going. I laid in bed last night after reading half of Three Cups of Tea and wept. I read the story of a man who is pursuing his passion to change the lives of individuals and he is doing it so simply. I started thinking about the thought that has been swimming around in my head and heart for weeks; after seeing the state of the maternity ward in Steven’s village outside of Arusha, I want to do something about it. As my thoughts wandered through plans, lists and questions, my heart felt full and complete. The tears flowed and my thoughts drifted to a scripture that I’ve learned well. The whole passage has been relevant to me at times in the last two years and provided comfort in very uncomfortable times. For the first time in a long time, I saw an alternative interpretation to the scripture I’ve been clinging to for a long time Isaiah 54:1
“’Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud you have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married,’ says the Lord”.
Until last night I’ve looked at that verse with a different perspective. Last night when sleep evaded me and my heart was exposed in the stillness of my room, I heard it differently. Yes, I have not labored with a child, but I have the opportunity to leave a legacy to a community of mothers. I know not the joy of having a child, yet I hope to never feel the grief of loosing one. I know how I felt after Mom “miscarried” the twins. That loss is big enough for me. I still think about them sometimes and what it would be like to have a younger brother and sister a bit older than my youngest sister. They would be eleven or so now. I, as one who has not labored can sing with joy in my heart for I will be able to know that I had a part in the lives of all of the women and children my dream will help. It is completely daunting, humbling and overwhelming. I can’t shake it though. It feels like the right thing to do. I trust my heart on this one. I have no idea how it will happen, I just know that it needs to. At the same time I wept at my new understanding of the dream in my heart, I felt completely humbled that God has chosen me.
I start now down the road of planning and praying. I know that it could become consuming and overwhelming. I start this journey knowing that it will not be just me that makes this happen. There are people I am to partner with. I believe that part of the dream that has always been a seed in my heart has been watered by the people of Tanzania.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“There will be nothing left but memories and legacy that God breathes life into. My life’s goal is bigger than me; I start the journey and then pass on the torch when the time is right.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
09.01.2008 7:45 pm
I feel more than ever that I am headed down the right track with what I am doing and where I am going. I laid in bed last night after reading half of Three Cups of Tea and wept. I read the story of a man who is pursuing his passion to change the lives of individuals and he is doing it so simply. I started thinking about the thought that has been swimming around in my head and heart for weeks; after seeing the state of the maternity ward in Steven’s village outside of Arusha, I want to do something about it. As my thoughts wandered through plans, lists and questions, my heart felt full and complete. The tears flowed and my thoughts drifted to a scripture that I’ve learned well. The whole passage has been relevant to me at times in the last two years and provided comfort in very uncomfortable times. For the first time in a long time, I saw an alternative interpretation to the scripture I’ve been clinging to for a long time Isaiah 54:1
“’Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud you have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married,’ says the Lord”.
Until last night I’ve looked at that verse with a different perspective. Last night when sleep evaded me and my heart was exposed in the stillness of my room, I heard it differently. Yes, I have not labored with a child, but I have the opportunity to leave a legacy to a community of mothers. I know not the joy of having a child, yet I hope to never feel the grief of loosing one. I know how I felt after Mom “miscarried” the twins. That loss is big enough for me. I still think about them sometimes and what it would be like to have a younger brother and sister a bit older than my youngest sister. They would be eleven or so now. I, as one who has not labored can sing with joy in my heart for I will be able to know that I had a part in the lives of all of the women and children my dream will help. It is completely daunting, humbling and overwhelming. I can’t shake it though. It feels like the right thing to do. I trust my heart on this one. I have no idea how it will happen, I just know that it needs to. At the same time I wept at my new understanding of the dream in my heart, I felt completely humbled that God has chosen me.
I start now down the road of planning and praying. I know that it could become consuming and overwhelming. I start this journey knowing that it will not be just me that makes this happen. There are people I am to partner with. I believe that part of the dream that has always been a seed in my heart has been watered by the people of Tanzania.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“There will be nothing left but memories and legacy that God breathes life into. My life’s goal is bigger than me; I start the journey and then pass on the torch when the time is right.”
First Day Teaching
This is from Friday. I just got electricity back today so I'm a little behind. Apologies!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The day before yesterday I ran into my teacher for the first time since I actually met her. I went back to the school several times to set up a time. I left notes and phone messages to no avail. I started helping someone else as I needed some time in the classroom. She was excited to see me and explained why she hadn’t been around. She asked me to come teach today to meet the class and set-up times for when I come back in October to teach.
Once in class, I introduced myself and told the kids a bit about my family and where I come from. After the teacher left, I ran out of ideas. I told them all their vocabulary could understand. I began the lesson where the teacher told me that she left off. The class is so far behind the other standard five classes. My teacher has missed so much class time and teaching English doesn’t seem to be a priority to her. The students were enthusiastic to learn. There were only four books in the class and they snickered and laughed as I tried to explain sequence words. The class has excellent repetition skills, but their ability to understand what they are reading is so minimal. It is a challenge to work with this class. The best way to teach English is to do it through a conversation. There is only one of me and 45 of them. I hope that I can make a difference for them. I see the value of English here and how necessary it is if they are to continue their education to the secondary level. If these kids pass their standard seven exams they will be put in English speaking classrooms. Where they are now in their language skills, they can’t even ask for a cup of water. It’s so challenging to see. I understand the importance of knowing English for these kids. It’s frustrating to see that the lower level teachers just don’t care. They know that these kids need English skills to go to secondary school and university. It’s even helpful making their way around the city as more tourists come and go and companies need English speakers. Caroline and I discussed the situation and she said that many of the teachers have poor English skills themselves and so aren’t able to teach the material. This whole arm of the educational system seems broken and it looks like no one is trying o fix it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The day before yesterday I ran into my teacher for the first time since I actually met her. I went back to the school several times to set up a time. I left notes and phone messages to no avail. I started helping someone else as I needed some time in the classroom. She was excited to see me and explained why she hadn’t been around. She asked me to come teach today to meet the class and set-up times for when I come back in October to teach.
Once in class, I introduced myself and told the kids a bit about my family and where I come from. After the teacher left, I ran out of ideas. I told them all their vocabulary could understand. I began the lesson where the teacher told me that she left off. The class is so far behind the other standard five classes. My teacher has missed so much class time and teaching English doesn’t seem to be a priority to her. The students were enthusiastic to learn. There were only four books in the class and they snickered and laughed as I tried to explain sequence words. The class has excellent repetition skills, but their ability to understand what they are reading is so minimal. It is a challenge to work with this class. The best way to teach English is to do it through a conversation. There is only one of me and 45 of them. I hope that I can make a difference for them. I see the value of English here and how necessary it is if they are to continue their education to the secondary level. If these kids pass their standard seven exams they will be put in English speaking classrooms. Where they are now in their language skills, they can’t even ask for a cup of water. It’s so challenging to see. I understand the importance of knowing English for these kids. It’s frustrating to see that the lower level teachers just don’t care. They know that these kids need English skills to go to secondary school and university. It’s even helpful making their way around the city as more tourists come and go and companies need English speakers. Caroline and I discussed the situation and she said that many of the teachers have poor English skills themselves and so aren’t able to teach the material. This whole arm of the educational system seems broken and it looks like no one is trying o fix it.
Meeting Other International Students
As more international students have been arriving on campus, it’s been interesting to meet them. Some jump right in and start trying things. Others have the look of shock for days and are petrified of everything. I think it would be interesting, if not also embarrassing, to be able to see myself when I first came. I’ve been here over a month now and I’m feeling a lot more at ease. I can navigate parts of the area by myself. I feel fairly comfortable around campus. The only thing that can unnerve me and probably always will is the persistent man asking for my phone number or asking me, “his friend,” to come visit. I don’t trust their intentions one bit nor am I interested in anything of the sort. The open markets bother me less. I’m still not a fan of long bargaining conversations. I feel like such a cheapskate when I try to get the price too low. I’ll bargain a bit, but I’m not as determined as other people in my group.
As one who has been here bit, I feel like an unofficial ambassador to incoming international students. When they look lost, I feel the need to ask if I can help them find something or explain the cafeteria menu because it is all in Swahili. I’ve met several students so far that were told to meet at the LINKS office, yet they have no idea where that is, let alone where they are in relationship to anything else of campus.
I think I had the look of shock and probably exhaustion when I arrived in country. I’d almost like to do it all over again to see it with fresh eyes. I can say that I am very happy our program has an orientation like it does. From speaking with other students from different programs, they didn’t get hardly anything as to a country orientation. Even if we only had done the pre-departure reading, we were way ahead of the curve once we arrived. I don’t think I could do what some of these people do. They come alone. The LINKS office drops them off at the dorm and then they are on their own. How overwhelming! I can say we, LCCT, have it good.
As one who has been here bit, I feel like an unofficial ambassador to incoming international students. When they look lost, I feel the need to ask if I can help them find something or explain the cafeteria menu because it is all in Swahili. I’ve met several students so far that were told to meet at the LINKS office, yet they have no idea where that is, let alone where they are in relationship to anything else of campus.
I think I had the look of shock and probably exhaustion when I arrived in country. I’d almost like to do it all over again to see it with fresh eyes. I can say that I am very happy our program has an orientation like it does. From speaking with other students from different programs, they didn’t get hardly anything as to a country orientation. Even if we only had done the pre-departure reading, we were way ahead of the curve once we arrived. I don’t think I could do what some of these people do. They come alone. The LINKS office drops them off at the dorm and then they are on their own. How overwhelming! I can say we, LCCT, have it good.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Fishermen on the Coast
Seeing these boats and their owners gave me, what felt like, a glimpse into the past. In reality, this is the way these men and so many others in this community make their living everyday. It is the means of feeding their family and sending their children to school. This is a snapshot of reality. It isn’t some far off time. It is just a few days ago and happened again today whether someone was there to capture it on film or not. This way of life is so far removed from my own existence. It is not something I understand at all. This ritual must be carried on day after day to bring in a harvest to feed hungry bellies. There is no rest. It is an existence that for the most part is day to day. I don’t even know how to begin to connect with that. I work a job as a student that puts funds in my bank account that allows me to mostly pick when I work and how much that is. I can travel across the world and be an observer into another way of life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
