Extrovert on Vacation

I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to speak. My extrovert is in hibernation until January. I am really nervous about speaking the little Kiswahili I know. My experience has been once you make it a little ways into the greetings, the person you are talking to takes off at full speed and you’re left there nodding and trying to understand. At least when I was being spoken to in KiMaa, I could get by with mumbling, “Eehhh.” Not so much here. It seems as though those I meet, at least at the university are testing my ability to cope with their speech. I usually just sit back and smile. Even in the group it is an exercise in sorting out who, what, when, and how everyone speaks. Though speaking with those around me is far more challenging. I think I might be OK if there weren’t so many formalized greetings. I know many of the words that we’ve learned, but putting them into sentences is difficult. I’m more comfortable with sentences abou random things. I think all fo the greetings are uncomfortable because I’m talking to complete strangers, many of whom I’ll never see again. At home, it’s a cascual Hi with a smile as you pass someone; here is it a prescribed set of Hellos, What’s the News?, etc. It is far more intimate and personal than I like to be with people I have no connection to.

The loud, crazy, fun part of me misses those who know that part of me. I miss those people I can let my guard down with and just be. I do that well alone here, but what’s the point of being unguarded if you can’t share your truest self with anyone. I’m making progress. I just have to remember that I haven’t’ been here that long. Swahili still feels strange coming out of my mouth.