Mori: Multiple Families & Polygamy

Coming to Tanzania I knew that I would meet polygamous families. I didn’t quite understand the dynamics of the whole situation. In most cases the families I’ve meet don’t openly live with their multiple wives. The multiple wives live in different communities in the same area. The men rotate as they please and send finances occasionally to support the family. In the specific case I know the best, the other wives are aware of each other, though it is a bit of a chilly relationship. Most communities know that some men take more than one wife. I find the most fascinating cases to be the ones where the second or third wife was taken at the first wife’s request. She decided that there is more house or farm work than she wants to do or there are more children to be birthed and the first wife doesn’t want to have to do it.

The one specific family I met in Mori was the husband and the second wife. This wife had the younger children. The first wife lives several villages over and has an older set of children. These children have moved away and send money to their father that is supposed to do to their mother. The father uses the money to support the second family as he frequents the local bar to the children’s dismay. He took this second wife because he wanted to not because the first wife asked for him to.

The other family I met was more open with the living situation and the multiple wives. In the Maasai boma, the leader had three wives. All of them live in the same area. Their children play together and they socialize. The relationship among them seems far warmer than the other family. My guess is that it is more socially acceptable and open to have multiple wives in this culture. Even though the other group permits it, it isn’t as warmly received or the norm.

I think both of these are extreme examples of the spectrum of polygamy that exists in Tanzania. They are simply my experiences with the people I’ve met here. Both of these along with the monogamous couples I’ve met have provided an interesting insight to Tanzanian family relationships. Each of them are very unique though the culture is evident in the distribution of household labor and social roles.

Watching families here it is easy to see the expectation that even if the woman is employed outside of the home, she is to take a major role in domestic life, including cooking and cleaning. The women are also expected to play hostess while the man sits back and socializes or is not present.

I’m not sure exactly what conclusions to draw except that families at home have different interaction patterns as well as some similarities. It is more interesting to sit back and watch not analyze the situations. The most interesting families to watch are those who have adapted to more Western styles while still retaining a large amount of their traditional practices.