Feeling Pretty

I’ve reached the ”hump” mark in my trip. As much as I love Tanzania, there are a few things I am really missing. I the past few days I’ve been thinking a bit about one particular topic and numerous other female international students have made the same remark to me: “It has been a long time since I’ve felt pretty.” It is generally in the context of having the opportunity and the necessary elements to dress up and such. I put on my nicer clothes to go to church, but it’s not the same. I miss being able to do something with my hair besides put it up in a pony tail or a bun. I miss my favorite bottle of perfume and pearls. I know all of those things will be there when I get home, though coming from a lifestyle that allows me to have the opportunity to get dressed up I am missing it.

It is possible to feel “attractive” because you get attention as a white female in Tanzania. The attention for being the exception to the norm doesn’t make me feel pretty. Here I guess I should define “pretty” and “attractive.” Pretty is when you feel good about yourself and you do it for you only. The “attractive” term is when someone else notices or you spend time courting to receive attention externally. These are my definitions for the context of this discussion.

There are definite standards for female behavior and dress on campus. The majority of the ladies conform to the social norm. Most of the international students including myself don’t dress nearly as nice and the girls on campus. Generally, I don’t care too much. My feet hurt just watching them hike all over campus in heels. The conditions here are not very conducive to me wanting to dress in uber fashionable wear and stylish shoes everyday. I’m more of a functional gal. Without dressing in the same manner, the majority of us still seem to attract attention because we obviously stick out. The things that are considered “in” here are several seasons off what is popular in the States or would never even be fashion appropriate. It is a sight to see sometimes. Their style of dress does not take me away from what I’ve grown up with at home. It seems that a fashion bug has swept the younger girls around the area. It is such an issue that some of them give up meals in order to have the money to buy the “in” clothes and accessories. Other young ladies take up the company of older men or other male students in order for them to foot the bill for their fashion needs.

The broad culture, American fashion, puts major emphasis on the styles and appearance of young women. The community I come from takes a bit of a different approach, but there is still the opportunity and expectation of a certain level of dress. Realizing how much I miss some of my little personal treats is a bit surprising to me. I’ve apparently internalized more of the culture values that I thought. It seems that I haven’t had the occasion before to think about it. I am comfortable with who I am and the image I present in Tanzania. I am more conservative than most of my cohort of international students as a whole and I wear trousers more often. This has been a point of much discussion. I am stuck though by my little routines that I’ve used to feel better about my personal appearance. More than once here when I’ve gone to do interview for my research paper, I’ve caught myself wishing for my favorite heels and dress suit.