"Shanea, when you come home, I'm taking you on a shopping spree."

The title of this post is the key line I remember from a voice mail I had on my phone Sunday morning. It was my friend Karen calling. I couldn't figure out why she left this message and asked me to call her. She had agreed to store the majority of my clothes and linens while I am away so I didn't have to ship them home or rent a storage facility. Everything was neatly packed in Space Bags. I wondered...(i.e. the conversation with myself in my head) "Did her house flood? No, the clothes are in bags. They can't be squished if the bed broke she was storing them under. The house catch on fire? I just saw her sister and she looks rather calm. Oh my gosh, is Karen OK? No that can't be it. Hmmmm...am I that poor of a dresser?...I did wear jeans to work this week. We were just talking about clothes....maybe she won a sweepstakes and wants to just take me shopping...."

I finally called her back and Karen's first question was, "Are you sitting down?" Yes, I said....(thinking...this can't be good) She proceeds..."Well, I'm taking you shopping when you get home. My car was stolen and all of the clothes you gave me to take home were still in the trunk."

I think "Oh Wow!" My suits, dresses, linens, costumes, and bedding! In the end, it's not something that I won't get over. I lost a few of Jeremy's things I still had and one blanket from my Grandmother. They are just things. Karen is OK and that is important. Who knows....maybe I'll need a new wardrobe when I get home.

The Party

Yesterday was the first of the two depature bashes. It was a gerogrous day at Sunnyside. The only thing that could have made it better would have been more parking spaces. There was a wedding and a birthday party going on.

All of the ladies from the Y came out. It was great to spend time with them. I have so much food left over, I've modified the menu for Monday's party. Leftovers it is...No need to waste anything right?

I couldn't ask for better friends. They are all so amazing and supportive! I can't wait to come back to them. They make it worth staying here!

I spent the afternoon luaghing with friends and playing with one of the coolest dogs ever! If I aver have a dog, I need a Jake!

Oh, the knot in my chest!

I woke up this morning with the feeling of stress! I think it's all starting to hit me. I woke up to a room that was a disaster and feeling like I just need a day to clean and pack up what is staying here. I still have to read and take my pre-departure exam that is due sooner than I care to admit. More Kiswahili lessons wouldn't hurt either. I know I'll survive. I'm feeling this way because I'm tired. Tiredness doesn't negate the legitimate feeling though.

I'm looking forward to this weekend and the week to follow. I know it's going to be a lot, but it's part of the journey. I spoke with a good friend/mentor yesterday and she helped put a lot of this in perspective. It was an encouraging conversation that really helped me out.

If I ever do this over, the one things I would do differently is work less prior to my departure. The money is great, but there has been little self-care time. I'm hoping to make it home relatively early tonight and get some things done. Really, thought, I want to sleep. :)

Have Courage?

Courage: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.

I've come to realize in the last few months that I've lost some courage. It's more of a slow eating away in my confidence that I'll be safe and everything will work out; this is not only in regards to my trip to Tanzania but also my life in general.

I think that part of this journey for me is a restoration of my courage. Not recklessness, but courage to live without hesitation. I am challenging myself to muster up the courage to explore and prove to myself that I am the person I remember. I've gone through my guide book and looked for places to go and things to do...and I plan on doing them. Maybe not all of them, but I want to get out and experience Tanzania.

In the past few years, I've gone through some circumstances that have caused me to be less than my adventurous self. This is a journey back to the heart of who I am and a time of reflection on the things I know I want to do with my life. I'm puling out this mission statement that I wrote several years ago during my first year with Street Rock. I think that was the time in my life where I had the clearest picture of where I was headed. It may be rudimentary, but I can build on it. I truly believe that I heard clearly and discerned with my heart what I should know.
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Psalm 27:14 Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

Packing and Gift Giving

I thought that I was almost done shopping and on my way to packing for this trip. I recently found out that I have further gift purchases to make. What I bought already feels completely inadequate or inappropriate. Now I'm headed back to the store...multiple stores at this point to get what I think I need. Yikes! Twenty, yes 20, days from now, I'll be in the Amsterdam airport hoping that what I packed is sufficent and that no one has or will rifle through my bags. I have no idea how I'm going to get it all there. Barbara said to pack light...I think I'm trying. I have no idea how to narrow down what I need for clothes especially in regards to my newly developed photosensitivity...the last two times I've gotten in the sun, I break out in hives. Ick!

Gift giving is a big tradition and expectation. I have no idea how to give approproiate gift that still are a bit unique to reflect me.